Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Back on the Net...
Well, the move is complete. I have uprooted again and I am in a better place now. As of today, I have the Internet again so the blog will pick back up. Sorry for the tiny pause. I will make up for it with the amount that is going on in my life now.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
A MAJOR change in thought...
I am considering changing my major from Graphic Arts to Sociology. Sociology fascinates me on so many levels and has given me answers that other things just have not. It allows me to see the reasons behind many things. I have always been hung up on the why. Like, for example, homework in a class that I am very good at. I usually do worse in a class that I am well versed in as opposed to a class that I am not very good in. Why? Simple, I always question the why behind the homework in the class that I am good at. Why should I do the homework when I know everything and it all comes so easily to me? I suppose for me, things have to have purpose for me to do something. That is ironic, however, in the fact that I play role-playing games. They serve no purpose other than to give me entertainment. So many questions.
Back to sociology though, tonight's class answered the question I had in the last post. When can I consider myself a man? Why am I called names when I haven't done anything but care for others? Because it is not the accepted perception that society puts to being a "man". To be a "man", you have to be above everyone. You need to Treat women poorly, gain "respect" by putting others down, and use physical force to show power and control. I have felt these pressures in so many aspects of my life and I ABSOLUTELY disagree with this. Women should be treated with nothing but respect and equality. A true man is caring, honorable, and kind. In trying to be the typical "man" society describes for me, those things will never fit in, thus the frustration. I understand now that I am approaching my problems from the wrong perspective. I am approaching them from the perspective that something is wrong with ME. The real problem is that something is wrong with society's perception of what a "man" is.
I will leave you with this. When violence is reported, do you focus on the story more if a man committed the crime or a woman? If the man committed the crime, it is almost normal. If a woman commits a crime, the whole article/story is focusing on the fact that it was a woman who did it, and then in turn it becomes a bigger deal to you because it is out of the "norm". Remember, it is always the privileged that are not examined.
Back to sociology though, tonight's class answered the question I had in the last post. When can I consider myself a man? Why am I called names when I haven't done anything but care for others? Because it is not the accepted perception that society puts to being a "man". To be a "man", you have to be above everyone. You need to Treat women poorly, gain "respect" by putting others down, and use physical force to show power and control. I have felt these pressures in so many aspects of my life and I ABSOLUTELY disagree with this. Women should be treated with nothing but respect and equality. A true man is caring, honorable, and kind. In trying to be the typical "man" society describes for me, those things will never fit in, thus the frustration. I understand now that I am approaching my problems from the wrong perspective. I am approaching them from the perspective that something is wrong with ME. The real problem is that something is wrong with society's perception of what a "man" is.
I will leave you with this. When violence is reported, do you focus on the story more if a man committed the crime or a woman? If the man committed the crime, it is almost normal. If a woman commits a crime, the whole article/story is focusing on the fact that it was a woman who did it, and then in turn it becomes a bigger deal to you because it is out of the "norm". Remember, it is always the privileged that are not examined.
Confused...
Has someone every HIT you with words? I mean literally, it felt like their words were a punch in the face or gut? I hate that feeling, especially when you KNOW the person saying these things is respectable and right in so many ways. It seems ironic to me though. Words mean nothing right? Actions speak louder than words right? But then why can they have such an effect on me? Why is something that someone said mean so much to me?
Last night I got that punch in the face. And now, I am questioning everything that I live for. What do I live for? I don't even know and that might be the problem. I thought I had already stepped into the realm of manhood, but obviously, I am still just a child on so many levels. My next question then becomes will I ever be able to tell myself, "Now I am a man"?
My beliefs like honor, justice, selflessness, compassion, and above all kindness, have gotten me nowhere. It seems that the only way one can get ahead anywhere is through selfishness and hurting others. I have hurt others, but I have always told them that I am sorry and truly meant it. I have never tried to hurt others to get ahead or to feel above them. Actually, that is a lie, I have and I regret it everyday. I am so tired of being described with words like "pussy", "woman", and "child" just because I care about others. I guess that is the way it should be though. If I care, I obviously am gay somehow automatically, or am of the other sex.
As far as last night goes, I will always be sorry for what I have done, which doesn't make it okay. I never wanted to be the person to let people down and it seems to be the only thing I am good at right now. In fact, being that person was always one of my biggest fears. Too late now.
Last night I got that punch in the face. And now, I am questioning everything that I live for. What do I live for? I don't even know and that might be the problem. I thought I had already stepped into the realm of manhood, but obviously, I am still just a child on so many levels. My next question then becomes will I ever be able to tell myself, "Now I am a man"?
My beliefs like honor, justice, selflessness, compassion, and above all kindness, have gotten me nowhere. It seems that the only way one can get ahead anywhere is through selfishness and hurting others. I have hurt others, but I have always told them that I am sorry and truly meant it. I have never tried to hurt others to get ahead or to feel above them. Actually, that is a lie, I have and I regret it everyday. I am so tired of being described with words like "pussy", "woman", and "child" just because I care about others. I guess that is the way it should be though. If I care, I obviously am gay somehow automatically, or am of the other sex.
As far as last night goes, I will always be sorry for what I have done, which doesn't make it okay. I never wanted to be the person to let people down and it seems to be the only thing I am good at right now. In fact, being that person was always one of my biggest fears. Too late now.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Naruto!!!
Naruto
Originally uploaded by WlfSamurai.
If you like anime, this is one of the best. For myself, it is not THE best but at least runs a close second. There is something in it for everyone, although it gets into more fighting as the show progresses.
The show is mainly a story of teenagers growing up in a "Hidden Village". This is a village that trains the countries ninja for battle against other villages or whatever may threaten the world. The main character, Naruto, is the child of disaster. Born with a seal on his stomach that encases the Nine-tailed Fox, an evil demon of immense power, within him.
Hi-flying action. Heart-felt drama. Great-characters. What else can one ask for?
My favorite part of anime has always been the art. Art is what got me into anime in the first place. Naruto has excellent artwork and animation in it. It is a long series, and takes some time to develop, but the wait is worth it. Check it out!
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Wold Map
I thought I might start discussing my Dungeons & Dragons campaign setting with a map of the world. I have created quite a bit for this world already, but there is still so much work to be done. Everything in it, save for the rules in the book and most monsters, is original. I started creating this about a month ago and have just built on it ever since. It is called The Eight Towers setting based off the eight towers in the center of the world. I run this world every other Friday for a group of friends who all play characters in it (I will discuss their characters in another post).
For this world, I have only developed three continents: Arcadia, the continent directly south of the middle continent, Xiora, the big continent in the Northwest (that is where the players are) and the middle continent with the eight towers on it. The names of the other continents will be posted as they are created. Also, I will go into greater detail about each continent as the players explore them or there is more spoiler free information.
As for general statements about the world, the world is taught to hate dragons. The mortals of the world feel abandoned and tricked by the dragons after the Dragon War when a large group of dragons forged a war upon the entire world. There weren't any dragons to help the mortals, so the mortals had to fight the war themselves. Even though this war occurred 1,122 years ago and there is no one to remember many things about it, it is still taught to the children that dragons are terrible beasts that should never be trusted.
Obviously this is a fantasy world, and in fantasy worlds, there are fantasy gods that are created for the world. The gods play a big role, and are the driving forces of the mortals within the world. The major ones are:
-Bahamut, god of dragons
-The three sisters, Anu, the sun goddess, Mania, goddess of death, and Freya, goddess of magic.
-Aegis, god of the elements
There are also 5 lesser gods and a number of other gods that are the children of the greater gods on the list but they do not need to be listed out.
For now, that is the general overview of the world. Short but sweet. Obviously, I have left out quite a bit, but there might be players watching and I would rather not ruin it for them ;). I will post a discussion of the characters the players are running in my next post of the world.
For this world, I have only developed three continents: Arcadia, the continent directly south of the middle continent, Xiora, the big continent in the Northwest (that is where the players are) and the middle continent with the eight towers on it. The names of the other continents will be posted as they are created. Also, I will go into greater detail about each continent as the players explore them or there is more spoiler free information.
As for general statements about the world, the world is taught to hate dragons. The mortals of the world feel abandoned and tricked by the dragons after the Dragon War when a large group of dragons forged a war upon the entire world. There weren't any dragons to help the mortals, so the mortals had to fight the war themselves. Even though this war occurred 1,122 years ago and there is no one to remember many things about it, it is still taught to the children that dragons are terrible beasts that should never be trusted.
Obviously this is a fantasy world, and in fantasy worlds, there are fantasy gods that are created for the world. The gods play a big role, and are the driving forces of the mortals within the world. The major ones are:
-Bahamut, god of dragons
-The three sisters, Anu, the sun goddess, Mania, goddess of death, and Freya, goddess of magic.
-Aegis, god of the elements
There are also 5 lesser gods and a number of other gods that are the children of the greater gods on the list but they do not need to be listed out.
For now, that is the general overview of the world. Short but sweet. Obviously, I have left out quite a bit, but there might be players watching and I would rather not ruin it for them ;). I will post a discussion of the characters the players are running in my next post of the world.
Excited...
You know what is interesting is that I really don't know what I want to do with this blog, yet I am still so excited about it. I have a few ideas, but I am just waiting to come to a decision. Publishing material and stories from the Dungeons & Dragons game I run might be one thing. Movie reviews maybe. Book reviews. Videogame reviews. I think it might be a number of things. We will just have to see what it turns out to be.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Ashitaka
The basis for the Wolf Samurai. I have loved anime since I saw my first at the age of 13. Princess Mononoke is one of my favorite animes, and the main character in that movie was Ashitaka, an honorable, trustworthy, and caring man who saves the land from demons and gods. At the time the Princess Mononoke came out, I was starting what ended up being my most favorite and longest running Dungeons & Dragons campaign, The Groven Myth. I decided to create a character based on Ashitaka but not exactly like him. The character that I ended up making and playing turned out to have the same name and beliefs, but looked quite a bit different. He was also a samurai and was from a race called hengeyokai. This race could shape-change into an animal pretty much at will. The animal that Ashitaka could shape-change into was none other than the wolf. I loved and cherished that character so much I started using the name WlfSamurai for many things on the web. And that is how the name came about.
Hmm...
Well this is interesting. I have never even heard about this before and randomly stumbled upon it. Well, I am unsure what exactly I will use this for, but I'm sure I'll think of something.
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